January 24, 2016

2015 Year in Review

January 24, 2016/ Ahsante Bean

2015 was an incredibly unpredictable and fulfilling year. There were, ups, downs, and a lot of personal growth. I had several milestone moments, here are a few of them:

2015 Accomplishments

I had some great experiences in 2015

I worked with some incredible companies

Attended these youtube events

And on top of it all I...

But the best is yet to come...

Think you can help me reach my goals?

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Ahsante the Artist

Hi There!

I'm Ahsante: Artist, Video Producer, Storyteller, and YouTuber.
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Ahsante Bean

RT @KrystieLYandoli: Here's a thread about my time on the set of #TheHateUGive in Atlanta last October: https://t.co/InnCh6cboL
about 3 hours ago
Ahsante Bean

RT @MDucard: Please check out if you're interested in applying! https://t.co/vqUwy6NTpf
about 3 hours ago

Instagram

The very exciting project I shot at the YouTube Space LA is out! Thanks to @thelilynews for the feature - check out the video on their IGTV and YouTube! I’m talking being vulnerable online, the pressure of constant creation, and discovering my #asexuality. And The Lily is a dope magazine for women by women at the @washingtonpost ! 💜🖤💜 #FemaleHustler #SideHustle #LightsCameraAction #WomenWorking #YouTubeLife

It’s so rare for me to get to hang with other Black creatives who are all motivated, talented, and just as nerdy about YouTube as I am. My week at YouTube NextUp was incredible. I learned so much from listening to my fellow creators, and getting to focus in on my channel for a week was such a treat. I have so much love for my new YouTube fam 🧡🤗🎥✨ #ytnextup #youtubeblack #makersgonnamake #hustleharder #calledtocreate

Yesterday, I had a panic attack. Like a full on, sobbing, hyperventilating, curled in a ball panic attack. Out of the blue, something picked at a mental scab and the wound wouldn’t stop bleeding. I went down a path of thinking I was unremarkable and unworthy and unspecial and hopeless, and I crumbled. It took about an hour for me to get myself back together again. 😞 This is not the first time this has happened, but it was the first time I was around other people when it started, and I was mortified. In a room full of people, sharing what made them remarkable, and I could barely keep it together - much less say anything positive about myself. I felt isolated in a room of lovely people, and then I felt self conscious about that isolation, and then selfish for thinking only of myself. I couldn’t get out of my own head. 🔥 I don’t say this to win your sympathy or your pity or to fish for compliments. This isn’t about external validation, just like my emotions had nothing to do with external criticism - the only person I allow to talk crap to me is myself. I say this to acknowledge where I am. People talk about only showing your highlights reel online, but I also want to acknowledge the struggle. I struggle with self-esteem and self-worth, on a deep, personal, illogical level. Sometimes I hate myself and my life even though both are obviously amazing. I’m constantly working at staying positive. But sometimes I slip. I am a work in progress. Today was better. Tomorrow will be better still. 🙏🏾 #MentalHealth #OneDayAtATime #SelfCompassion

Behind the scenes shooting at #YTNextUp! Exercising those production skills 😉🎥 #YouTubeBlack #CreativeLifeHappyLife #MakersGonnaMake #BlkCreatives

Got to chat with @goangie on @angieangeam this morning, and hang with @djmoney in the studio! I was on Working Woman Wednesday talking YouTube, Harvard, and going for your dreams! #hustleharder #goforit #acreativedc #youtubelife

Unleash your inner diva 💁🏾‍♀️ 💎✨ Had fun with costumes for the next video and I’m pretty excited about it - new one coming at ya tomorrow! #popofcolor #onewomanshow #dressuptime #purple💜 #divas👑

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