January 24, 2016

2015 Year in Review

January 24, 2016/ Ahsante Bean

2015 was an incredibly unpredictable and fulfilling year. There were, ups, downs, and a lot of personal growth. I had several milestone moments, here are a few of them:

2015 Accomplishments

I had some great experiences in 2015

I worked with some incredible companies

Attended these youtube events

And on top of it all I...

But the best is yet to come...

Think you can help me reach my goals?

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Ahsante the Artist

Hi There!

I'm Ahsante: Artist, Video Producer, Storyteller, and YouTuber.
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An Intro to Ahsante

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Ahsante Bean

GTFO - LAYERS!?!?!?!? *weeps in dairy deliciousness* *sighs into the screen* *bemoans my nonexistent summer bod* https://t.co/jOHDVbP6wg
about 2 months ago
Ahsante Bean

RT @ClintSmithIII: Shout out to the Uber & Lyft drivers going on strike today. These folks deserve better wages than what they're curr… https://t.co/xVCyfj4E8R
about 2 months ago

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What a whirlwind. I’m just now getting a chance to catch my breath after VidCon, and as always it was a wonderful ride. Over the past 5 years, going to this conference has turned from my vacation time to being part of my full time job, and this year certainly felt like work. Everyone was in hustle mode - more meetings, less kickbacks - more industry, less intimacy. But it was lovely getting to hang with people who I usually just see through slack, getting to meet new friends in the edu space, moderating a VidCon panel on Navigating Identity Online with some incredible women, and presenting on diversity & inclusion for @pbsds at YouTube EduCon. Definitely more of an edu focus for me this year and I honestly think it’s one of the best corners of YouTube. Wish I could be around y’all all year. Miss you already 😘 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ #VidCon #VidConUS #VidCon2019 #YouTubeEduCon

A man started yelling at me as I was taking this photo “Hey! That’s the gay sign! Are you gay!? Huh!?” I ignored him and kept smiling into the camera, and thankfully he moved along. 😒 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ . Queerness doesn’t have to look any particular type of way. I can look like Mother Africa and still be queer. I can dress conservatively and be queer. Or I could dress in rainbows from head to toe and still maintain the right to mind my own business while you mind yours. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ . I exist at the intersection of several identities of which queerness is only one. I can project and present and code to match my mood and surroundings. And this month, we show pride in gender and sexual identities that are often marginalized as "other”. I am asexual every day of the week, regardless of whether I am read or present as such. 💜♠️💁🏾‍♀️🌈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ . As someone who was questioning for a long time, who felt freakish for not being involved with boys like my peers, I’m grateful for Pride as a moment to emphasize that people like me are not broken. Be who you are, love who you are, and love who you want to love (or don’t). ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ #happypridemonth #loveisloveislove #asexual #lgbtqia #happypride #asexy #rainbow🌈 #pride🌈

I’ve always struggled with low self-esteem and feelings of worthlessness. Since elementary school and through adulthood. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I’ve always worried about nobody actually liking me, not having enough friends, that people are lying when they pay compliments, that my achievements aren’t that special, aren’t enough, or are undeserved. It’s led to intense insecurity, a few panic attacks, and even self hatred. Irrational thoughts, but real nonetheless. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I’ve worked so hard at trying to be the best version of myself over the past year. I’ve worked on my career, my health, my appearance, and my knowledge base. I read more books in a year than I ever have. And I’ve done a lot of introspection figuring out who I am, and trying to analyze and adjust my own behaviors and thought patterns. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ This weekend, I looked at this picture - of me on my 26th birthday - and realized that, for the first time, I genuinely liked who I saw. I like her values and what she believes. I like her hustle and the work she’s chosen to chase. I like her attitude, her positive outlook, the way she rocks her natural hair, her dedication to meaningful human connection and inspiring others. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ It was a personal breakthrough. My first adult birthday where I didn’t feel like crap because I hadn’t done enough by this age. I stepped outside my own self-critical mind and saw myself as worthy and valuable regardless of how productive I am, whether I’m exceeding expectations, or what I’m working on next. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ It’s taken me 26 years to build a person I love. To know who I am, what I want, how I operate, and what I stand for. To finally feel a glimmer of internally motivated self confidence. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ They say that before you can really love others, you have to love yourself. Now I feel ready. Here’s to the next lap around the sun. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ #selflove #selflovefirst #selflovematters #personalgrowthjourney #mindshift #yourbestlife #believeinyou #chooseyou #beyourbestself

Whooo, it’s been a month y’all. Not gonna lie, I’m exhausted. And I skipped washing my hair last week (again). But I’m still here, still hustling, still bringing you vids to help you move consciously and creatively through life. ☀️☀️☀️ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The latest one (link in bio) is about organization systems, which I’ve spent a lot of this year working on. I’ve really been flying by the seat of my pants with this whole adulthood thing, but seeing as I’ve managed to stay in the same place for a little while, I’m trying to be a bit more methodical. 📚📚📚⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ This is a “Get Better With Me” and my organization still has room to improve. I feel like I’ve mastered keeping together my physical space, my notes & files, to-do list (Evernote is key), and my diet, but I could still work on sticking to a sleep schedule and having solid morning/ evening routines. Some parts of my life are tidy, some aren’t. How do you keep yourself organized? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ #tidyingup #selfimprovement #organizeyourlife #organizedschaos #dowhatsonfire

Springtime is here and I’m looking up 🌸🌞🌺 Can’t believe the first quarter of the year is already over! I feel like for me winter was a time of preparation, spring is a season for execution, hoping that toiling away will bear fruit this summer. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ What seeds are you planting going into the next quarter of the year? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ #springtime🌸 #stayoptimistic #livespiritedly #keepgoingforward #inbloom #popofcolor

🎵 You better c’mon in this house, ‘cause it’s gonna rain. 🎵💧 My latest vid is for the times when you hit a blue mood. Feeling mildly depressed can put a drain on your productivity, and that’s something I’ve been working through this month. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ☔️☔️☔️ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ In this 3rd part of my “Get Better With Me” series, I talk about how I keep working when I’m down. Because no matter my mood, bills (and taxes😬) have still gotta get paid. Video is in my bio - Keep on keeping on, y’all. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ #moodygrams #selfloveisthebestlove #selfcarefirst #calledtobecreative #keepgoingforward #yougotthis #blkcreatives

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